Farm Life

Farm Life

Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Dancing Cow and the Flailing Farmer

                                            (Excerpt from my unfinished book, "Farm Tails")

       One morning Dad set out across the dew kissed pasture in his familiar torn flannel shirt, and worn out jeans. It was a comfortable morning with the sun rising from behind the lush greenery that framed the cow pasture. He chewed a blade of grass, and stroked his bushy beard in contemplation as he stood behind a cow with a leg wrapped in a tangle of wire. He needed to free her, but one pull on the wire and she would take off, he was sure. Carefully he began handling the wire in an effort to free the beast when the cow mindlessly plodded ahead. As she jerked the wire forward it became apparent that the wire now had entangled his dusty work boots. He knew that the more he pulled on the wire, the faster the animal would proceed, so he must work quickly to free her, but also keep up with her as she traversed across the field. A kind of dance ensued which drew a crowd of pink-nosed spectators. A nosy bunch followed the activity with big eyes framed by lush lashes. This seasoned farmer, not being swift on his feet due to years of abuse inflicted by, ironically, his dance partner, and her friends, struggled with his steps, and became frantic with his arm movements. Not at all becoming of a dancer. The black and white beauty abruptly decided that she would pick up her pace with finesse, and put some leaps into her routine. Her tail flew high, and her legs imitated the action. Behind her, the farmer, who had never learned the two-step was finding himself doing the one hundred and forty-three step. It would have been impressive had he not looked like a crazy baboon being ravaged by fire ants. Still on his feet, my dad worked feverishly to untangle the moving wire while he ran to keep up with quick-step Bessie. Now, I know this looks as though it cannot turn out good. You think maybe this farmer will lose his footing and it will be all over. He'll be dragged by his feet, as his head bumps through cow patties galore left by his fleeing dance partner. You think that his heals will plow up enough dirt to fill his gaping mouth as he screams for her to stop and that the fast moving earth below him creates enough friction to burn a tremendous hole in the seat of his britches.  How is it then that this time, he unweaves the web of wire just in time as the cow bolts away at a high rate of speed?!?! Well, sometimes, just sometimes, this farmer scrapes by unscathed. He'll surely pay the price the next time around....